Choose one of these tone words:
Love Irritation Despair
Weariness
Satisfaction Boredom Disbelief Suspicion
Joy Ambivalence
Indifference
Sarcasm Loneliness Embarrassment
Write a sentence or sentences in the spirit of this literary tone using the
writer's tools: imagery, diction, syntax, figurative and ironic devices
(without directly using the tone word,) and building to the dialogue, "I will. "
Ex.:
Determination: The salesman's jaw jutted out, his eyes glinted steel. He looked
at his stack of Bibles and the endless rows of houses ahead, "I
will."
Ex.:
Indolence: The boy lay in bed thinking about the mountain of chores his mother
had laid out for him that Saturday. He shut his eyes again as he heard the
maternal feet padding down the hallway towards his room. He yawned, "I
will."
Post your submission on the class discussion board. In a reply to the
original comment, each student should look at two other students’ sentences,
guess the tone and discuss how the tone is created (point of yiew, diction,
syntax, imagery, figurative devices, symbols, ironic devices, rhetorical
devices, and sonic devices.)
Jim stared at the pile of papers his boss had handed him. To get all this work done in one day would undoubtedly be torturous. Under his breath, Jim sighed, "I will."
ReplyDeleteElisabeth~
DeleteI see a tone of despair and weariness throughout your sentences. By using the word choice, "would undoubtedly be torturous" you created a scene of despair in the character. "Under his breath"(syntax), expresses the emotion that Jim was feeling at this time, giving way for the tone to be revealed. I also see how there could be a tone of irritation portrayed between the employee and the boss. As Jim sighs, "under his breath", this may signify some irritation/sarcasm towards his boss and the task given to him. Imagery can be seen throughout the first sentence.
Great Job~ the character's emotions were believable!
Blessings~
Lindsey Rogers
Great sentence, Elisabeth! Great reply, Lindsey!
DeleteWeariness: The nurse, approaching the end of her twelve hour shift, slumped in exhaustion, walked the dull hallways full of ill patients. She could hear the ring of a call bell, the shrill and incessant beep of a pump waiting to be checking and there were doctor's orders at hand. With a less than believable sigh,"I will."
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteLindsey:
DeleteYour tone of weariness is undeniably clear. When you use the word "nurse" and the phrase Twelve hour shift," you begin with a feeling of fatigue. The phrase "Slumped in exhaustion" confirms this. I like your imagery "Dull hallways" and "Ill patients." These, together, describe the nurse's atmosphere as not an easy place to work. Your second to last sentence is full of burdensome tasks and described with sharp noises (ring, shrill, beep) that make me say, "No wonder the nurse is weary." Finally, the nurse's sigh rings true to her weary state.
I like how you use words such as "ring", "shrill", and "incessant beep" to portray sounds. I can hear the sounds in my head without you using obnoxious words such as "Bang!" or "Pop!"
DeleteI knew your sentence was weariness (without seeing you put it there) from the twelve hour shift and slump. I love the picture you painted of the hospital, its just enough to give you the picture without being too overwhelming and distracting. I especially liked the "incessant beep" because it shows the irritation along with weariness.
DeleteYour sentence had a fantastic use of imagery. I felt the characters tiredness throughout the whole thing. The sensory details were strong which really helped your whole tone of the sentence.
Delete· I felt completely embarrassed after my mom had walked in on me naked. However, after thinking quickly I decided to see how long I could keep a conversation with her with me exposed. With an evil grin on my face I said to myself, “I will.”
ReplyDeletebtw laugh all you want at this but hey it happens.
The tone for this one must be "Embarrassment". It is a very odd example but, i know many have at least experienced this at least once.
DeleteThe detective set down his glasses after looking over the new evidence. He sat back into his chair and hit his fist against the table, saying, “No! No! He couldn’t have done this! He would never do this!” After taking a second, long, hard look at the evidence, he picked up his phone to call the police, and then set it down. He picked it up again, and once more set it down. Again, he picked up the phone, muttering to himself, “I will.”
ReplyDeleteDiego~
DeleteYour tone of ambivalence and disbelief are very evident throughout this passage. In the beginning sentences, you do a great job of depicting the setting to be that of a detective looking over evidence. The statement, "No! No! He couldn't have done this! He would never do this," portrays the character's emotion of disbelief. As the character repeats the action of picking up the phone, it allows the reader to imagine the 'clicking' sound that that action might have. Lastly, as the detective "mutters" to himself, he approves his state of disbelief.
Great Job!
I like how you used the "I will" to portray a very strong sense of determination. The reader doesn't know exactly what the problem is, but the reader can already tell that whatever it is it is very hard for the detective to do.
DeleteDiego,
DeleteYou expressed multiple tones in your paragraph; ambivalence, irritation and disbelief with a solid body to support those tones. The detectives resistance and multiple attempts at calling the police leads our minds to wonder what the relationship between him and the suspect is.
Nice job
-Malcolm
Loneliness: She stared down at the phone, trying to fight back the flood of memories that came rushing back whenever she thought about the time they had spent together. "Being with him was hard, but being without him was harder," she thought to herself as she grasped the phone and whispered to herself "I will."
ReplyDeleteYour tone is incredibly clear. As soon as I knew she was staring at a phone, I realized what was going on. I like that you used "the flood of memories", it is a vivid picture. Also, I thought the "she grasped the phone" was a nice touch to solidify the tone.
DeleteYour tone was very clear. I loved the word choice you used, such as "flood of memories that came rushing back". The reader can really feel the girl's loneliness and sorrow in the paragraph.
DeleteYour tone is extremely clear. All your details give me a very vivid picture of what is going on.
DeleteYou know, I have to say, I disagree. I don't think the main tone here is loneliness or sorrow, and I don't think that the tone is extremely obvious, either. I immediately noticed the part that says, "trying to fight back the flood of memories." This implies that the main tone is really ambivalence. Another part that supports this theory is when she argues with herself about which choice was harder to make. She is clearly conflicted.
DeleteThe little girl stared up at the intimidating cliff face. The voices around her screamed that she was too tiny, too weak, and too cowardly. She took a deep breath and grasped the blue stone in front of her, zoning out the antagonizing voices. Whispering to her self, she gave a simple pep talk, “Its only a rock wall. I can. I will.”
ReplyDeleteYour tone was really clear. The details you put into it put a clear tone of determination into your sentences.
DeleteYour major tone of determination with an underlying hint of timidness is portrayed through the strong diction in your sentences such as "intimidating cliff", "deep breath", "antagonizing voices", and "whispering to herself".
DeleteBeing scared of heights I can really put myself their in my mind. This one is without a doubt determination. Your choice of imagery "grasped, intimidating, tiny, weak, cowardly" are excellent choices they help create a more vivid picture of what you were thinking and the situation you were in.
DeleteThe girl's favorite show was on, after waiting for months for it to return. The season premiere was halfway over when her mother called from the kitchen,asking her to take out the trash. "Okay," the girl said back but her mom wasn't having that. "Now," her mom said again. The girl tossed back her head and secretly rolled her eyes at her mom, "I will!"
ReplyDeleteI would say that your tone was irritation, you can see the tone through the way the sentence is set up and with the eye roll at the end, the tone is very clear.
DeleteThe details, dialogue, and imagery made it really easy to imagine this scenario. I can totally picture this in my mind, which makes it easy to figure out what the tone of this paragraph is.
DeleteI can easily hear the tone of irritation in the girls voice because a) it is such a believable and relatable scenario, and b) the imagery and details. Details such as the show being halfway over and the fact that she had been waiting for months makes it easy to understand why the girl would be irritated. Furthermore, whens she"tossed her head back and secretly rolled her eyes at her mom" it creates an image in my head of a common symptom of teenage girl irritation.
Deleteyeah its very clear that the tone is irritation. It made me think of how upset I feel when someone interrupts me while watching South Park. Also your scenario is something that every single one of us has done. I loved the imagery you used "tossed her head back and rolled her eyes" that's definitely something girls love to do when upset.
DeleteThe suspect tapped his fingers against the metal table, "I have an alibi, call the ER, they'll release the records to you", he said with a shrewd smile. Detective Beach narrowed his eyes, a million scenarios running through his head, "I will", he said, and then swiftly got up and left the room.
ReplyDeleteI feel like the tones here are quite clear of determination and suspicion. I like the details and the originality of your scenario it works well with both your main tones and the implied ones:)
DeleteI can also see the very strong tones of suspicion. I liked the imagery that was used to facilitate it; it very easily created the mood, at least for me. I also liked that the paragraph sounded more like part of a narrative than most others here.
DeleteWhen I read your post I see a well articulated description of suspicion, as well as, determination in your sentences.
DeleteDetermination: The girl had to hold the plank position for only one minute. This one minute was the longest minute of her life, as she held up her whole body weight on her two elbows. 15 seconds left, and she desperately wanted to drop to the ground, which was only inches away, but she took a deep breath and muttered the words, "I will".
ReplyDeleteI can tell that the tone of your paragraph is determination. It has good imagery and details that help you visualize the scene. It is easy to see that the girl is not going to give up.
DeleteNot going to lie this was a hard one for me to figure out. But as a guess I will have to assume it is determination but I could be wrong. :p
DeleteGreat example especially because it is something you have experienced in dance class making it more personalized.
This definitely proves that the tone for this story is determination. Great example, you can tell that the girl is staying strong. She will not give up.
DeleteSophia was on the couch watching her favorite program. Her mom past by carrying a load of laundry and asked, "Honey can you pick up your room?" Sophia replied, "OK mom." Her mom walked away but came back in a few minutes and said, " Honey please." Sophia said, "I'm gonna go right now mom." Her mom went to do something then came back and said, "Sweetie please I need you to pick up your room." Sophia finally got up and said, "Fine i will."
ReplyDeleteI mostly see indifference in your paragraph,Sophia seems unconcerned with her mother's wishes, and she doesn't really seemed too concerned missing her favorite program. However, I also see undertones of annoyance at the continuous reappearance of her mother.
DeleteWhile this is probably the indifferent tone used, I also notice a good quantity of relentlessness when she says she will do her chores, but does not.
DeleteAs she lays in her cold bed curdled beneath the cover, Beth wept, for she had lost the one atom of happiness she had left to a disastrous accident. With her fiance gone, she remembers what her mother said to her years ago, "Don't let one person be responsible for your happiness, when they're gone what do you have left?" Its been months since his passing, she joylessly gets out of bed, envisioning herself leaving home for the first time in weeks. Beth showers, does her hair and makeup, dresses and heads towards her door. As Beth grabs the knob she breathes deeply and says "I will."
ReplyDeleteMalcolm:
DeleteI see several tones in your paragraph: despair, weariness, and loneliness; but, the main tone I see is loneliness. Your first sentence provides excellent insight into Beth's state. The opening picture provides a cold feeling in its use of "cold bed", thus guiding the reader into Beth's cold world. "Curled", also in that sentence shows that Beth does not like her state of coldness and would like to change her state. When you use "one atom of happiness" in the following sentence, you provide a strong metaphor by showing that Beth has no happiness left. I appreciate your addition of a quote from Beth's mother. It shows that Beth is listening to her mother's wisdom and likely wants to change her state of lonely unhappiness. Your next sentence is a sad picture. Since Beth has not left her home in weeks because of a loss that occurred months ago, she is obviously in great pain. Yet, she envisions herself leaving -- a sign that she wants to get on with her life, free of despair and loneliness. It is interesting how in the next sentence, you included the detail that Beth "does her hair and makeup." These details are signals that Beth wants to leave her house and put a stop to her miserable loneliness. Beth's determination in the last sentence is a good end to an otherwise sad story.
Overall, your imagery is clear and so are your tones, especially that of loneliness. Nice job!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteShe held her head high as she walked down the corridor, a hollowness in her chest. Her eyes darted over the couples pressed against walls or the children laughing with their parents. She tried not to let the hollowness grow. As she passed the last giggling pair before walking into her office building she muttered to herself, "One day, I will."
ReplyDelete"Go on." The man stared at his partner in crime. "What are you waiting for?" She was holding the wire-cutters with a pained expression and did not answer. "You're not getting cold feet now, of all times! If you don't do it, I'll have to!"
ReplyDeleteShe squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip. "Alright, alright!" she cried, finally. "I'll do it! I will, I will!"
Nice use of dialogue-- you have a good ear.
DeleteIt still feels like only yesterday he was running through the garden, laughing and calling me by my name. Calling me, "Mommy I love you till infinity and beyond!" I could feel him collision my cheeks and tenderly reached to fill me with his warm endearment. Im full of remorse. This can't be happening, its not happening, please God take my life not his. As Sarah prayed, she heard a voice that told her, "Everything is going to be fine, your son is in a better place with prominent people. You will have the streghth to overcome this battle. Only tenacious people can defeat this battle." Sarah got up, and felt like she can do it, she felt like she had to be stronger for her other two sons. She said, "I will."
ReplyDeleteI've noticed multiple tones in your paragraph; despair, disbelief, and determination. You had a good use of imagery as well.
DeleteI've noticed multiple tones in your paragraph; despair, disbelief, and determination. You had a good use of imagery as well.
DeleteThe man woke to a shrill nag in his ears. His eye lids bolting straight open, and without even the effort to reach up and wipe the sleep from his eyes, he smacks the source of the incessant noise on the head which was fortunately not his mother but his alarm clock. With a gruff utterance of the words, "I have to wake up," he put on his best determined face and said, "I will wake up." An hour later he woke up again.
ReplyDeleteIt does take a lot of determination to get up in the morning, so I do not blame this guy. Also, nice funny part about it not being his mother.
DeleteShe walked along the long,crowded hallway, with her head held down, with shoulders slouched, with long black hair covering her eyes, trying to go unnoticed knowing her peers would try to be as hurtful as possible. She watched others from a distance as the different groups joked and laughed, hoping someday she might fit in.
ReplyDeleteI definitely notice a despairing tone in you sentence, strong picture with the slouched shoulders and hair covering her eyes, definitely speaks of sadness and a loss of hope.
DeleteDetermination: He picked up the dodgeball, the last one on his side. He counted five on the other team. "I will win."
ReplyDeleteBoredom: He laid on the couch, quietly pondering what to do next. His father called from upstairs. "Can you take out the trashes from around the house?" "Sure," the teenager replied, relieved that he was saved from the uncertainty of what to do next, "I will."
Nice, I like the determination, dodge ball is a good picture to draw form, sense any type of competition requires confidence and drive.
DeleteShe sighed contentedly while gazing into his eyes, maybe she could do this small favor for him, after all who could resist such a smile, "I will".
ReplyDelete